Trust me bro

There was a time when artistic ability was infused with cutting your ears and being a little schizophrenic. That is a low price paid for what we call good art. But what do we have now? Pictures of monkeys, bored apes mostly, with their arrogant smirks feigning a mock of my little human IQ, infuriating me.

Another upsetting factor of this quote-on-quote art is the fact that their faces, mainly being the brand presentations, are the least interesting part of their being or their appeal, if you ask me. The hourglass-shaped patch of skin on the chests of a gelada would have driven single MILFs up a hill, flooding the market instantly. Or have you seen a baboon's behind? That forbidden pumpkin would have had the merchandise fed to this day. (Pun intended.) But I digress.

If you are playing with cash like a proper citizen or making it rain on a bad bitch like a distinguished rapper, you may not have heard of or even concerned yourself with digital currency-affiliated creative works. Haven't wallowed in the servers of the internet forums? Pat yourself on the back, buddy. You did good. Throw another $10 bill on a random woman as a charitable token. You ain't Lil Wayne, but the contribution is still appreciated.

Now, since you are here, probably panhandling for the said $10 bill or pondering on what a woman is, let me interest you with what I have rambled on about till now. Which isn't, unfortunately, about monkeys, but rather about other furry mammals with not-so-interesting teats called humans and their beautiful creation: NFTs.

NFTs are non-fungible tokens containing a unique digital asset that is identifiable on the blockchain and used to certify ownership and authenticity of a specified item such as a piece of art, music video, or a collectible. Those were big words. Please acquire an adult if needed. If you can't, here is a shorter version: NFTs are glorified receipts. Some would say a reasonable way to spend a quarter of a million because, yuh-uh.

Despite the mockery I have conveyed, rightfully so, I will give them grace as they were not associated with get-rich-quick scams and rug pulls like they are now. Initially, they were simply a digital asset ownership and exchange forums. From the first known NFT sold in 2014, the market was more about creating a community, supporting artists, or an art that you liked. Or maybe an obvious indication of why you should go outside and touch grass. Nothing more, nothing less.

The market gained popularity in 2017 after the game CryptoKitties, an early successful blockchain online game where players adopt and trade virtual cats, started trending. I must say, due to the misleading name "kitties," there could have been multiple pay pigs and white knights who might have mistaken the premise of the game and invested more than needed. Allegedly, of course.

These same people were later known to purchase the Lana Rhoades NFT merchandise. Again, allegedly.

The market continued on a reasonable price range, even after the gained recognition, that is, until 2020, which marked the rise in investment. The healthy crypto market being a fuel for the transaction, the surge on the monetary value of NFTs continued to show.

There are different speculations on why people jumped on this sphere at this speed, especially during the span of a year, mainly lasting from 2020 to 2021. In addition to the boom in cryptocurrency and Bitcoin prices, my guess to the specific timing would be, as cliché as it sounds, the pandemic. People were too inside, very isolated. A lot of us were convinced that this would be our whole life, confined between the four walls of a room, high-fiving ourselves to sleep. (Which, in the presence of a spouse, is not a terrible experience, or so I have heard.)

So, rather than developing alcoholism and going through menopause like the rest of us did, the wealthy had other predicaments. The predicament of having $69 million to spare, which, ironically, is the amount spent on one NFT art by Beeple. The rich were faced with the surplus amount of money they had. Arguably, having money that is unspendable would be a nightmare. (I would know; I am poor.)

For some of these folks, who have outlived the bubonic plague, going out with a disease like COVID-19 which was a spicy cough at most with their hard-earned (or just earned) money would be a fall from grace, a sad way to go. So many were willing to risk their money and spit on commoners while they were at it.

NFTs provided the perfect safety net and selling points for the rich: (1) creating the illusion that this is art and it is dope; (2) feeding the greed which unites them all. Not only can you buy this cool picture and share it with your friends on Facebook, you can also sell it for a massive profit down the line.

I will impart some empathy, as during this time loneliness was spiking through the roof. People in general were seeking a community. So, aside from the renegade trend, what other brain-rotting activities due to excessive screen time could millionaires participate in? Their hands were tied ( only figuratively speaking).

As the market started gaining more popularity, more well-known figures started flooding in, further increasing the price range. Even celebrities like Donald Trump (aka Mr. President himself) announced a line of NFT featuring images of him like the true chad he is, for $99 each. Which begs the question: do the buyers not own a TV? Couldn't they ask a toddler to draw a sketch of an orange poodle and just print that? These monumental inquiries will sadly go on unanswered.

Other celebrities were largely involved in the Bored Ape Yacht Investors Club, including the one and only Paris Hilton, who has stated her affiliation and high praise for the collectibles. As she claimed, and I quote, "This ape reminds me of myself." Marking, for those who were like me fans of "The Paris is My New BFF" series, the tragic ending of that era. TTYL, Mackenzi.

Outside the common realms of digital arts and games, the use of NFTs has expanded into other platforms as well, like movies and the music industry. They have even extended into the medical field, which was not widely accepted and was deemed unethical, as they were turning patient data into NFTs. Congratulations, you now have a blockchain hyperlink of your herpes! There's nothing better than being reminded of your burning thighs every time a financial compensation is made whenever your data is being sold.

Though it's a questionable approach, the method was tolerated as the monetary value was being used for funding research projects by the academy. This and other advancements and adoptions augmented the growth and interest rates of NFTs. Tradings increased from US$82 million in 2020 to US$17 billion in 2021.

I urge you to drink water and gasp in amazement.

The crypto bros, after gulping the drools of GaryVee and basking in their tokenized misogyny while secretly listening to the latest Taylor Swift music, jumped with joy upon learning of this booming market. Cryptoland, a virtual island, was created by these lads. Though it failed epically, it was something. We at least got good music out of it. I still shimmy to a good old "Crypto is in my chromosome" jam.

Due to these various reasons, all eyes were on NFTs. The insane amount of money printed for people on crypto and crypto-adjacent schemes drove a lot of people into the craze: scammers, speculators who drove up the prices to later abandon the art, and even gamblers. Which unfortunately caused the NFT market to collapse in 2022. In May 2022, the estimate was that the number of sales was down over 90 percent compared to 2021. By September 2023, one report claimed that over 95 percent of NFT collections had zero monetary value.

But why did the platform plummet as quickly as it peaked, besides the aforementioned reasons?

Well, most of the characteristics of NFTs which were the drawing points for the market started to become the drawbacks of it. For example, there was indisputable proof of ownership for the digital assets. While this remained to be true, the anonymity associated with NFTs and the ease with which they can be forged made it easier for plagiarism and fraud. So even if you owned and were certified for the specified art, what good would it be if it can easily be copied and distributed?

This and other similar cases with the community started to get them more negative feedbacks. It being compared to money laundering schemes, economic bubbles, wash trading, and Ponzi scams further pushed people out of the market and discouraged new buyers and investors as well. The lack of regulation, difficulty to pursue legal action against any offense in the system, and general absence of government involvement also decreased the attraction towards the sector significantly.

The industry has fallen immensely, but it has not died yet. It is getting back to its roots, which was more about community and less about profit. Artists are still creating them, so the marketplace is still continuing, just not on the same pace.

And dear reader, if the ape collection ever makes a comeback, spare your millions (which you don't have) and pay a quick visit to a nearby zoo instead. Please and thank you!