THIS IS ME

They say I’m failing now, I see the cracks in the frame,

But engines don’t roar till they deep in the strain.

I’m quiet, but loaded, nitrous tucked in the vein,

When I hit that switch, they won’t know what to name.

I been up too many nights just chasing a thought,

Melatonin on my tongue, still fighting my cough.

Nose bleed on the sink, wipe it off, then I walk,

Like pain is just noise and I mute it with work.

I move through the city like I owe it a debt,

Every step feel heavy but I’m holding my breath.

Heart full of fire, body begging for rest,

Mind racing laps while the world second guess.

They love to count losses, never measure the load,

Never ask what it cost just to stay on the road.

I been building with faith and a flickering hope,

Trying not to collapse while I’m tightening bolts.

It look like I’m down, but I’m gathering speed,

Pressure stacking layers, turning carbon to me.

This ain’t me breaking down, it’s the prelude to flight,

I been shaking the cage, now I’m ready to bite.

I don’t sleep, I just drift between fear and belief,

Between wanting relief and refusing defeat.

Excitement feel dangerous, pain feel familiar,

I learned how to smile with a storm in my mirror.

I walk like I’m fine, even limping, I’m straight,

Cause survival taught me timing, not escape.

I don’t need to look winning, I just need to persist,

I been dead inside before, I remember the switch.

So let it look ugly, let the numbers look wrong,

Let them doubt every move, let them think I’m gone.

I know what I’m holding, I know what I’ve seen,

This the calm before lift, this the tension in me.

When it pop, it’ll scare ‘em, no warning, no sign,

Nitrous mode, full throttle, perfect time.

This not luck, not hype, not a moment of grace,

This is pain turning loud when it finally break.

Listen to me!